Self-care Is Not Selfish

9 tips for taking care of yourself while taking care of an organ, eye, or tissue transplant recipient.

“An empty lantern provides no light. Self-care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly.” -Unknown

While self-care may seem selfish, in order to help others, it’s crucial you are taking care of yourself.

One of the biggest mistakes I made as a caregiver for my mom when she had her double lung transplant was that I did not take great care of myself. There were days when I would barely eat and days where I ate everything. Days when I stayed up most of the night and days where I wanted to stay in bed all day. I forgot about self-care. Don’t be like me.

After all, how can you take care of someone else when you are not taking care of you?

Below are some tips to help you take care of yourself.

It’s important to remember that self-care is not the same for everyone. There is definitely not a one size fits all approach. What is relaxing in your “normal” life may not be relaxing after you begin your role as a caregiver so try new things and reach out to those around you for support.

1. Sleep
   • Adults need 7-8 hours of sleep a night. Caregivers sometimes need more than that. This might not always be realistic but doing things like minimizing caffeine late in the day, stretching before bed, avoiding blue light and developing a nighttime routine, can help you get to sleep each night and give your body and mind a much needed rest.
2. Personal Time
   • Re-center yourself by taking time with the person who knows you best. You.
   • Step away from the responsibilities and paperwork for a bit to clear your mind. This doesn’t need to be for hours a day, but whatever use the time available to you to take a break.
3. Get Outdoors
   • The National Park Service has this nifty map where you find parks in your state!
4. Do Something You Love
   • Take time every day to do something you love. Something as simple as reading a book for 15 minutes, watching an episode of your favorite show or baking a batch of cookies can help clear your mind.
5. Find Someone to Talk to
   • Being a caregiver can be mentally and physically draining. Many of those around you will not understand how you are feeling, however, they may be open to listening. Trust in a friend, family member, support group member or mental health professional to talk to. You are not alone.
     • BetterHelp online therapy
     • Therapy for Black Girls
     • Latinx Therapy
     • National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network 
6. Accept Help
   • It can be difficult to accept help, especially when the care of your loved one is involved HOWEVER…if someone you trust offers to help you with daily tasks, running errands, making phone calls etc., accept that help.
7. Ask for Help
   • Ask your family, neighbors, children, friends, co-workers. You’ll be surprised at how many people are willing to lend a helping hand when you ask. Even if you’re asking for help with a small task, it can create extra time for your self-care and well-being.
   • Don’t be afraid to ask.
8. Set Limits
   • If you don’t have the time or energy to do something, say no.
   • Set boundaries, stick to them as often as possible and prioritize yourself.
9. Exercise/Try a Breathing Exercise
   • Family Caregiver Alliance has an excellent playlist for relaxation on YouTube in English, Cantonese and Español.